Dear Short Leg,
This was not an easy decision, but after 27 years I think it’s time we part ways. It’s not you – it’s me! I have come to realize I lean on you far too much and it’s time for me to stand on my own two feet – literally. Okay, so it is you, too. I have grown so much over the years and you just have not. You still have many shortcomings I just cannot accept. Quite frankly, you’re annoying. But if I could go back, I wouldn’t change a moment of our time together. You’ve made me who I am today. You taught me to love myself despite my flaws and be confident even though I am different. We both know you are not the best looking leg in town, but I loved you nonetheless! Breaking up is hard to do and just like when any other relationship ends, this is going to hurt for quite some time. It’s going to be really painful for me and I may even question my decision to do this. Although I know in my heart it is the right thing. No need to call or e-mail. I like to make a clean break. I have many pictures and memories that I will hold dear.
I will never forget you and am thankful for all we’ve learned together.
Thanks for everything,
PS – You need to get your stuff out of my apartment ASAP, because your shoes are taking up way too much space in my closet.